Mankind's thirst for ever more powerful smartphones has left the world a scorched battleground, blistered and scarred from the mighty Androids that stalk the earth.
Now, humans live in a world overrun with devices of unprecedented size and capability.
But some are fighting back. Deep inside a research lab at the foot of the Santa Cruz Mountains, a band of technicians work around the clock on a device they hope will turn the tide in a viscous and perpetual war.
They call themselves Apple, and they dream of a thinner, lighter, less complicated future.
With all the hoo-ha surrounding the Samsung Galaxy Gear, we take another look at the other smartwatch – and one with a more obvious name too.
The Sony Smartwatch 2 is a device that doesn't attempt to do as much as the recently-announced Galaxy Gear, but manages to be a more sleek and focused beast as a result.
Shorn of the need to speak to your wrist, the Smartwatch 2 instead focuses on being a companion to the smartphone running Android 4.0 and above, offering more basic functionality.
The Smartwatch 2 is a decently-designed device – there are metal and rubber watch straps on offer, and without the camera that adorns the Gear you've got far more flexibility in the designs you can use, with most standard straps fitting the watch.
It looks far more like a watch than the Samsung version for one simple reason: it doesn't have to turn off. The now-iconic power key on the side is there for when you want to fire the display up a notch, but in general standby mode the display will revert to a low-power clock face.
It's a little tricky to hit that side button, but it's chunky and easy to find without needing to turn your wrist a rather unnatural way to see where you're pressing.
Otherwise, the design of the Smartwatch 2 ticks all the boxes we could have hoped for really, in that it's sleek, light enough to not be obtrusive, looks premium and most importantly of all: doesn't look like a geeky smartwatch… more something like a fashion house of Diesel's nature might have come up with.
The main draw of the Smartwatch 2 (Sony is keen to point out this is actually the third or fourth iteration of its wrist-based gadgetry, but the naming convention took precedence here) is the fact it's not only touchscreen based but runs a heavily cut down version of its Android overlay.
It's a very simple system to cycle through, with homescreens expanding as you download more apps for your watch. These are increasing all the time, and while there's no specific number to crow about, privately Sony is pretty chirpy about how far ahead it is of its South Korean watch-rival in terms of app numbers.
The screen, a 1.6-inch screen is a 220 x 176 resolution option, which is smaller and lower res than the Galaxy Gear. It's not high resolution either, and feels like a companion device when flicking through the apps rather than a more 'headliner' feel that you get with the Gear.
That said, at least Sony's Smartwatch 2 is water resistant, coming in with an IP57 rating to make it something you can keep on the wrist when washing up.
It's also got a much longer battery life, with 6-7 days apparently easy to manage if you only use it to get text notifications and call updates on the arm.
And the final kicker? It's only going to cost around £170, compared to the Gear being nearly double that.
Early verdict
The Sony Smartwatch 2 is the ideal foil to your Sony, or any Android Ice Cream Sandwich or above, smartphone, making it a much more universally appealing device.
It's got sleek lines, a lower price and a decent range of apps available at launch, making it a toy you can legitimately ask for at Christmas and then spend all day playing with.
It's not got the lag we've seen with so many other smartwatches, and a long battery life makes it much more of a proposition for the charging-naysayer compared to the Galaxy Gear.
Technologically speaking, it doesn't have the specs to match up to the Gear, nor does it have the functionality. But to some people, those looking for a simple device that quietly alerts them to text, call and Facebook updates, this could be an ideal candidate to replace the Timex.
Nokia's Stephen Elop has brought the phone manufacturer inside Microsoft
You know those weeks where you get a year's worth of news in just seven days? This is one of those weeks. We've got so much news there's barely room for sarcasm and jokes!
First up, the not-entirely-shocking news that Microsoft is buying Nokia's phone business. As Nick Broughall explains, "According to the men who orchestrated the deal, the real advantage will be the accelerated growth of the company's mobile device offering." Nokia keeps its mapping and services, but Microsoft gets the Lumia and Asha lines.
"The big question is whether it'll work," says our columnist Gary Marshall. "There's another famous firm that makes the hardware, makes the OS and runs the App store - a firm that isn't doing nearly as well as Apple." Its name, of course, is SORRY WE'RE OUT OF TIME TOO MUCH NEWS.
We also also learned that Apple will announce its new iPhone next week. Or, at least, it will announce something. Something colourful.
Oh, and in a move that shocked and saddened Key Lime Pie fans everywhere, Google announced that Android 4.4 will be known as KitKat. It's even teamed up with Nestle for the whole thing. So much for not being evil, eh?
Gearing up for a watch war
The Galaxy Gear: is it just a faster horse?
We might be days away from seeing Apple's legendary and quite possibly fictional iWatch, so the announcement of Samsung's Galaxy Gear smartwatch may be something of a spoiler.
This isn't Samsung's first smartwatch - as our in-depth guide to the surprisingly long history of the smartwatch points out, the Galaxy Gear is Samsung's third major attempt at such a device - but it's definitely the smartest one yet.
Is it any good? Only one man knows the answer, and his name is Gareth Beavis. In our Galaxy Gear review, he explains that the odds are stacked against it - "it's going to be pricier than a lot of mid-range smartphones out there" - and it suffers from a "laggy and buggy interface."
The styling is odd: "We're willing to bet it's going to be tough to convince a number of consumers to shell out for this new device." That's partly because for now, it only works with the Samsung Galaxy Note 3 or the new Galaxy Note 10.1.
Also, it's a horse.
Explain yourself, Gary Marshall! "Henry Ford famously said that he didn't ask people what they wanted, because they would have asked for faster horses. The Galaxy Gear is a faster horse," he says.
It's essentially Samsung's 2009 smartwatch, the S9110, given an update: that "was a fine piece of engineering, but it wasn't a paradigm-shifting, world-changing, envelope-pushing, category-defining sensation, which is why you almost certainly aren't wearing one on your wrist right now."
For Marshall, the magic is missing. "Where's the wow?" he asks. "Where's the killer app?" What would turn a smartwatch from an interesting and unnecessary accessory to something you'd sell your grandmother for? Maybe it's OH NO TIME FOR MORE NEWS!
On to Berlin
The IFA expo in Berlin brought a slew of new products
IFA. What does it stand for? It's a mystery, unless you look it up. The annual Internationale FunkAusstellung Berlin, or international radio exhibition Berlin, is the world's largest consumer electronics show - so naturally we were all over this year's exhibits like a thing that's all over a thing.
There were so many exciting new products at this year's IFA that you could fill a giant exhibition in Berlin with them. There was the Sony HMZ-T3W, an amazing if expensive 3D gaming headset. There was the LG G Pad 8.3, a nifty little slate. There was the new Lenovo ThinkPad Yoga 2 Pro, a Windows laptop/tablet hybrid.
There could be a 6-inch iPhone on the way as Apple is reportedly trying a few new screen sizes out.
Although the word only comes from "people familiar with the matter" speaking to the WSJ, it wouldn't surprise us to discover that Apple is trying bigger screens out since the success of the Samsung Galaxy Note range.
Apparently the iPhone is being tested with screen sizes ranging from 4.8-inches up to 6 - a fair jump from the existing iPhone 5's 4-inch display.
Supposedly, Apple is quite taken with the 4.8-inch screen.
Size matters
We're not expecting Apple to tinker with the screen dimensions on the iPhone 5S that will be announced on September 10, nor do we think the cheap iPhone 5C will come with a larger panel.
But the iPhone 6, which will be a bigger upgrade and should land in 2014, could well come bearing a larger screen.
However, if Apple is only now testing these sizes out, it may take longer than a year to put the new manufacturing processes required into place - iPhone 7, anyone?
Unsurprisingly, Apple is not commenting on the rumours. We'll just have to wait until the post-iPhone 5S iPhone 6 leak deluge to find out more.
Live in the now: find out what we expect from Apple's iPhone 5S
Future is giving away £10,000 worth of tech prizes
TechRadar's parent company Future is giving away a massive stash of tech worth £10,000 in our biggest ever prize draw.
The prize pool includes a year's Sky+HD subscription, £2,000 Sigma D-SLR camera, Sony BDV-N590W home theatre system, a JVC GCXA1 Action Camera, Pure Jongo S3 and lots more gadgets besides. There's even a mountain bike and Garmin Edge 810 Bike Computer!
There are 45 prizes which will all go to one lucky winner.
To be in with a chance of winning, simply text the code TRR to 87474 (texts cost £1 plus standard rates of approx. 10-12p).
